I was unfriended by some one on Facebook the other day. While no one wants this to happen, most of the time it is of no consequence. We "meet" people online and in Facebook all the time and mostly these things are of no consequence. However, sometimes we find some one and we follow and develop a friendship, or a common bond. The Samuality provided a source of information on many different subjects and he also was a source of really cool cosplay photos. Being a middle aged guy, who likes fantasying about being a hero with scantily clad hotties around him, I appreciated this.
Lately anti-bullying has been very prominent in the media. Churches, schools and various civic groups have been strongly advocating ways to mitigate bullying practices. As a parent I am concerned with this as my child is going to public school and a big portion of the problem takes place there. Our disassociation was not related to our feelings concerning in-school bullying, but from a profound disagreement in parenting practices.
In a nutshell, I think the Samuality believes that touching a child in a corporal manner, to enforce a matter of discipline, is tantamount to beating and abusing one's child. We are talking about spanking here. I am of the opinion that spanking is a proven way to enhance positive disciplinary techniques.
The Samuality has some very strong feelings on this subject, as do I. Having said that, I acknowledge that I was on his site and disagreeing with him on a very emotional subject. It is true that he has the ability and "right" to unfriend me for any reason. I have seen him do this on a few occasions and for the most part I either agreed with the banishment or did not have a strong enough opinion to make a stand. (no it as not because I was being wishy-washy on a subject. There are times when I do not have enough information on a subject to feel comfortable in making a stand. Discipline and punishment however, is a subject I can talk about.)
I did a little research on the subject and have taken notes from three articles, The Great Spanking Debate, Disciplinary Spanking: When and How to Use It and AMERICAN ACADEMY OF PEDIATRICS
Guidance for Effective Discipline. It turns out that the general consensus on the subject ranges from, "It is a bad thing to spank your child, we need a kinder gentler world and we need to bring up our children in a manner that reflects that attitude." to, "We need to toughen up our children so they will be ready for the cruel world out there."
Of course I fall someplace in the middle.
In my research I saw every one agreeing that it is the parents job to bring their child up in a responsible manner. Some say it is irresponsible to hit one's child because it fosters aggressive behavior and violence. The reasoning goes something like, my parents hit me, so I can too, and I can hit other people too. The other side of the argument says something like I need to get my kid's attention and this is the only way to do it.
I am not going into the subject of over zealous parents who abuse their children. They should have the same brutality meted out to them.
In the three articles I read the consensus was corporal punishment should be administered only when every other means of discipline were exhausted. Just as importantly, the expression of it should be done in an unexcited manner. The parent should never do it as a form of revenge. In my case as a parent, I told my child that if she did not stop doing something then she would be spanked. This of course was after repeated attempts to stop her aberrant behavior. She was given two chances to stop the behavior and when the third one came she would be spanked with little notice. Something like, “I have told you to stop and you have not, now I will spank you and you will stop it." I was very lucky with my Runtyun and had to do it only once or twice.
This kind of augmentation of verbal discipline is OK, in my humble opinion. But when a parent uses spanking as the primary form of teaching a child, then we see the escalation of the child turning to the dark side, i.e. anger against their parents, and bullying others.
What I am saying is spanking, if done with care and parental judgment and not in anger or with malice, is a positive way to enforce a parents will on their child. Now if there are those out there that think a parent does not help to form a child into a responsible adult and that sometimes the kid does not want to do what he is told, then we DO have a problem.
I need to make myself clear here, there is a huge difference between disciplining a child and beating one. Discipline is a standard developed by the parent, while abuse is a parent's inability to control their own temper.
Now back to my unfriending by the Samulality. Honestly Sam, I see your action as a form of bullying. You want me to think in only your way and if I don't, I will be forced out of your little club. (A form of bullying)
I will miss your postings and even your friendship, but I do not accept your hypocrisy.
At least one good thing happened because of this situation, I did a little studying and bolstered my feelings concerning soaking.
olc
