The Runtyun and I had been going at it a little over the past few days. I did not like some of the things she had been doing, blaming others for problems she could have averted. Generally, she was being passive and blaming it on others. I did not have the words to make her understand my frustration. The tension was tight and words had been said. I want her to understand that she needs to take ownership of difficult situations and not "Be a Victim."
Well, the truth is, I let things sit in my brain and they fester and grow infected and sometimes they burst like a boil pinched out by a bored teenager. Frankly, I was tired of her pushing her problems on me and then doing nothing to make it right and I let her know in no uncertain terms of my frustrations.
A sleepover with a friend was in the works and I encouraged her to go. It does not take much to get her to go to these things, even at the best of times. But, I was a little concerned that she might not be able to let loose of her anger and frustration before we got to the party. So I was trying to figure a way to lighten the atmosphere a little.
We got most of the way to her friends house and I thought I knew where we were going, so I turned down a road to the house. She sat up straighter and I realized I was not going the right way.
"Opps thought this was where we were going." I looked at the GPS and adjusted course.
"I would rather puke my guts out then go to her house."
"But, I thought you two were good friends."
"We were, until the summer. I don't want to talk about it."
I kept my mouth shut.
After a bit, "They have rebel flags all over the house and are prejudiced and homophobic. They use the 'N' word and talk about fags and how they hurt everything important to their way of life."
"But they have cute dogs, right?"
This made her smile a bit, "Yeah but..."
My Runtyun went on to talk about some of the things they said and what assholes they were. Finally, she talked herself out and silence filled the van as we drove to the right house.
Finally I said, thinking this could be a real moment. Actually, I thought the words that were going to come out of my mouth were pretty profound. "You know that racial prejudice and homophobia are expressions of fear, right?”"
Without even a moments hesitation she said, "That's true. But it's no excuse right?"
I had no reply.
olc
