I had to work very late last night and I asked my friend if the Runtyun could go over and hang until I got home. I finally completely accomplished my asigned tasks and got done with work. However, I was an hour later than I thought I would be. It was after 9:30 when I finally made it to get my kid. I was toast, yet happy to see my her. Sometimes just seeing her smile works wonders for my aching brain.
My friend has a child and we both are a little concerned that the two kids may get into trouble together. My friend has more concerns than me. However, they are legitimate and I respect her. Yet, I trust the Runtyun when she says nothing untoward is going on, I believe her.
When we got home though, I felt the need to have a few words and decided to say a some "profound" things and strengthen the inhibitions I think already exist in her thinking. I wanted to take a different tact than usual, so I tried a different angle. I related a story from my past and tried to create a parable.
While we were settling in, we talked. The wonderful thing about this moment was the interaction between us that did not carry any words. I was cutting a cantaloup for the next day and she was helping with no encouragement from me and...she was listening to me.
I told my wonderful daughter about my breakup from Donna. I explained that she always thought that I was going to cheat on her and lie about it. Now, I know that I constantly flirted with women, but explained that I never went further than that. I loved Donna, still do, but could not help my "bad" behaviour. I never did more than talk, nor did I want to. Unfortunately, I could never get my feelings understood.
I was bombarded with accusations, silent and overt. I was shallow and did not realize the needs of the wonderful woman whose heart I was breaking. In my selfish thinking I thought I was doing the right thing, silly me. After a time I got tired of the constant attempts at guilt and finally understood that neither of us was going to change. It was the constant accusations and my inability to grow out of my selfish behaviour that finally broke me. I failed in our relationship and finally gave into temptation.
At this point in our conversation between the Runtyun and me, I tried to bring the conversation back to my attitude toward her relationship with her friend. I explained again my concerns and got the eye rolling thing teens give their parents and asked to her to hear me out.
All the while, we are interacting with no words. I would look at her and she knew what I wanted, or she would look at me with a question, while I answered with a motion.
Finally, I told her that I trusted her, but sometimes felt the urge to remind her what is good and not so good behaviour, or acceptable and not. I told her that she is old enough to know what I expect, but that I wanted to remind her EVERY TIME I saw her, yet held back from doing so. I told her I knew that may just push her into doing the things I did not want her to do.
She said she understood what I was trying to say and that I could trust her. She want on to say that she really liked her friend and thought she liked her in return, but....
And this is where she lost her words. I let her stumble around a bit. Then silence. After a bit, I suggested that they could ruin a very special thing if they were not careful. The tension and anxiety seemed to flow from her. And she said, "Yeah."
I reminded her how special they both are. I told her they were both going through a stage in life and needed each other to get through this part of their lives and how tragic it would be if they ruined their friendship by doing an impulsive thing.
We hugged. I washed my face and collapsed into bed. After a minute, she came into my room to say good night and tried to leave. I called her back for a good night kiss and she said, "Boy you sure are needy tonight, Dad."
olc
