tuff decisions

I have a tough series of decisions to make about the future of my daughter's spiritual life. We live in an area that has few other kids close by and I don't get home until supper time. This leaves The Runtyun alone for a long time during the day. This is not a very good situation for her. She just sits around reading and stewing. Not producing anything beneficial for anyone, much less herself.

I had hoped that she would find it within herself to become motivated to do something, anything to better herself. I have given her projects to do, subjects to learn about, in general things to help her to be occupied while alone. She likes to read. Her ability to sit and read is phenomenal, yet useless. I need to find a way to turn that ability into something productive, without my looking over her shoulder and motivating her.

We have worked our way into the Big Brother, Big Sister program. Like her Dad, it took one try to get it right. We went through one Big and found a good match the second time around. So we have some positive action going on.

During a recent meeting with her school counsellor, Ms. Mackey and Mentor, Ms. Nettles, a youth group was suggested called Young Life.  I have done a little research on this group and though it was sold to me as a non religious group, they seem to have very strong Christian influence. 

And of course this is where I my have my problem. I have talked about my beliefs before, so I will not belabour it too much, after all this is about The Runtyun, not me. I do have some reservations about putting her into another Christian oriented youth group. Two specifically. The first is how will it work with her EYC at All Souls? Will there be a conflict between the two beliefs and how can we deal with it? In all honesty, I am quite happy with what goes on with her EYC and am not trying to replace it, but I want to get her out and interacting with more kids her age.The second is a little more profound to me. Do I really want to push her into another Christian group when my belief is so profoundly antagonistic toward religion? What kind of message does this send to her?

Simply stated, Confusing.

So this is the conundrum I have. Does anyone out there have anything to say? Any suggestions, or insights?

olc

A great and Wonderful Day!

A great and Wonderful Day!

Recently I had the privilege to attend a ceremony celebrating the rise to Deacon-hood of a very special person. Though I do not participate in her religion, The Runtyun does. Milly leads the youth ministries at the church the runtyun attends and the two have connected in a very powerful and positive way.

Though I do not participate in their religion, I can appreciate the dedication Milly had in accomplishing her goal. She will be a shining light to all those who know her.

This post is not about Milly’s accomplishment, it is about ME!, and my relationship with the higher power. Please notice that I did not say God, or any of the other names relating to a superior all knowing being, or creator.

When The Runtyun started going to church, I felt it was my duty to be there, after all she was young and needed her Daddy nearby, or maybe I needed it. I felt it was be good for her on many different levels; she would be with kids her own age, she could spend time learning something that is a basis for our society, and maybe even get a little moral development tossed in. 

Since that day so many years ago, she has developed into a fine young lady. One day, I asked her if she wanted to continue her relationship with the church and choir. I tried to explain that it would be a commitment for the rest of her school years and that I would enforce it every time she wanted to stay home and sleep in. We have had a couple of times when the desire to sleep has beaten her need to attend, finally I convinced her of the importance of going.

I still have to get her to church and when her choir sings I attend the service...well sometimes anyhow. When I do go to the service, I stand and sit on cue, I’ll read and listen to the passages that are recited, and contemplate questions running around my brain. Sometimes I’ll concentrate about a story or blog I am writing, and as such I am not really involved in the service.

One of the questions I ponder is what am I teaching my kid by my lack of Christianity and not being a participant, yet making her go and participating in the very thing I rebel against?

I know what I want to be teacher her, but is that the lesson she is getting?

olc 

This Morning

This morning the Runtyun and I had our usual "It is time to get up" battle. It is Sunday and though I do not participate in an organized religion, she does.

The Runtyun is a member of the choir and attends Sunday school at the cathedral. She is also a member of the church's EYC, a group that teaches religious issues, but also encourages the kids give back to the community. When she was much younger and I felt the need to have her join the choir, it also seemed like the right thing to do to have her go to Sunday school. She is now the longest standing member of that choir. I rationalized this thinking by understanding she would socialize and perhaps learn some valid moral lessons.

When she entered the sixth grade, I felt she had grown enough to make a few of her own decisions and gave her the option of leaving the choir and not going to Sunday school any more. For me either way worked; if she decided to stay, I would be able to spend time at my favorite coffee shop and do a little writing, if she stopped I could stay at home and use that time for writing in an undisturbed environment, or just lazing around on Sunday morning doing chores. For the runtyun, there was a more profound lesson involved. Not one of religious conviction, though if she gets her spiritual connection at the church, I am OK with it, but one of commitment. The lesson she should learn is that when we decide to commit to something we need to stay with it, even if we are tired and want to sleep in.

When I started the long process of waking her up this morning. She said she did not want to go to Sunday school. I have to say it was tempting to go with it. After all I could work on my story undisturbed and we could then do something in the afternoon. I had the little guys on my shoulders, one saying, "It's OK, you really want to stay home, she will be sleeping for a long time and you can work on that story." The other looked across it me and said, "Nonsense. The whole reason she goes to Sunday school is to show her the need to follow through. C'mon get her going and let's get this party started."

After much moaning and groaning the mound in the bed finally rolled out and we embarked on today's journey.

olc