A conversation

The Runtyun and I had been going at it a little over the past few days. I did not like some of the things she had been doing, blaming others for problems she could have averted. Generally, she was being passive and blaming it on others. I did not have the words to make her understand my frustration. The tension was tight and words had been said. I want her to understand that she needs to take ownership of difficult situations and not "Be a Victim."

Well, the truth is, I let things sit in my brain and they fester and grow infected and sometimes they burst like a boil pinched out by a bored teenager. Frankly, I was tired of her pushing her problems on me and then doing nothing to make it right and I let her know in no uncertain terms of my frustrations.

A sleepover with a friend was in the works and I encouraged her to go. It does not take much to get her to go to these things, even at the best of times. But, I was a little concerned that she might not be able to let loose of her anger and frustration before we got to the party. So I was trying to figure a way to lighten the atmosphere a little. 

We got most of the way to her friends house and I thought I knew where we were going, so I turned down a road to the house. She sat up straighter and I realized I was not going the right way. 

"Opps thought this was where we were going." I looked at the GPS and adjusted course.

"I would rather puke my guts out then go to her house."

"But, I thought you two were good friends."

"We were, until the summer. I don't want to talk about it."

I kept my mouth shut.

After a bit, "They have rebel flags all over the house and are prejudiced and homophobic. They use the 'N' word and talk about fags and how they hurt everything important to their way of life."

"But they have cute dogs, right?"

This made her smile a bit, "Yeah but..."

My Runtyun went on to talk about some of the things they said and what assholes they were. Finally, she talked herself out and silence filled the van as we drove to the right house.

Finally I said, thinking this could be a real moment. Actually, I thought the words that were going to come out of my mouth were pretty profound. "You know that racial prejudice and homophobia are expressions of fear, right?”"

Without even a moments hesitation she said, "That's true. But it's no excuse right?"

I had no reply.

olc

Out of the mouths of babes

The other day, the Runtyun and I were getting ready to do something, I forget what, and I was chillin’ on the couch. She kept on finding things she needed to do to get ready and kept sayin she was almost ready. I have heard this song and dance before, so I pulled my phone out and started surfing around.

She could tell that I was getting impatient at one point and said she was almost ready.

“No problem, my little Runtyun, I have all the patience in the world for you. Take your time.” I sighed and went to FaceBook.

“No you don’t, you want to go now,” was her reply.

Of course she was right about that, but I said, “Oh Sweet Stuff, how can you say that? Take your time, you need to be comfortable in your skin. I am patient.” I turned back to WOOT.com.

“Daddy you are not being patient, you are distracting yourself.”

Out of the mouth of babes!

olc

An Interesting Conversation

My  Runtyun and I live in a physically sheltered area. Our current domicile is a little remote and there are no kids close to us. So, I go off to work and she stays at home and does stuff there until I return. She reads and plays video games. When it rains she goes outside and dances.

As a consequence when I get home, she is ready for some company, I am not much for talking. I have learned to drag a few words out and actually converse a little. My kid is pretty perceptive and understands me. On occasion, and I want to build the habit more, we cook supper together. Actually, she found a recipe for vegitarian lasagne with artichoke hearts and spinach which we did together. 

The time we spent doing the recipe was time I will not soon forget. As most who know me, you know I was a cook for a long time. Most guys who do what I did are part timers who are trying to work their way through school. I thought it would be a career. As a consequence I learned how to look at a recipe and make it better. However, during this time with the Runtyun I wanted to teach her how to do the procedure the way it was written. Following a recipe is harder than one may think!

She cooked the lasagne well and we had dinner and lunch for a couple of days. While I had a kid who was glowing with the feeling of success.

The other day, or night actually, I was getting ready for bed, but fate had another plan for the Runtyun and me. The truth is I have been feeling the need to have some kind of talk with her. I am a little distant and find it difficult to have a prolonged conversation with any one. Yet, this time was as close to a perfect moment as one could ever ask for.

We talked about many things. Actually, I made the conscience decision to let her have the reins and see where the conversation went. I further decided to ignore my fatigue and give her all of my attention. For over an hour we went back and forth, just plain talking. Neither one of us looked at or played with any of our electronic mind numbers. At one point though, the computer let us know it was 11:00 and my kid said that her tired old Dad needed to get some rest. We talked for another 20 or so minutes.

Who needs rest in the middle of a perfect moment?  

I finally went to sleep and had one of the most restful sleeps in ages.

I wish I had something profound to take away from these two occasions, but I don't. I merely relearned that my Runtyun is a person and needs to be treated like one. Perhaps the most satisfying thing I heard my Runtyun say goes something like this, "You know Daddy, we think a lot alike." Aside from the automatic sarcastic quips one can come up with, what she said validated most of what the ordeals of parenthood and some of the better, and more difficult decisions I have made as a parent and a man.

I just hope that some of the wisdom I impart to her will help her be a better person than her father ever could imagine himself to be.

olc